Love:

You steal it but escape away with nothing. You try to feel it but what you have is 
plastic
imitation
fake.
You burned everything on your search for something that is 
real. 
It’s so empty. 
But your room is full of people. 
It’s so quiet.
But everyone is so loud. 

So look into the mirror and swallow all your fear

Because if you need love
Take the time and be love
Give yourself and be love
Breathe it out, create love
See how things can turn

I worry...
about what to wear, what's for lunch, if my pimple shows, my next exam, my homework, quizzes, papers. Does my hair look good? Will I have to eat alone? My shoes are letting in water. Avoid the puddles. My feet must stink by now. I wonder if I walk right. Do I appear aloof? Do they like me?

I enjoy....
Watching the leaves fall. Hearing them crunch under my feet. The breeze blowing gently on a warm day. The sunshine when it's cold. My fuzzy sweater against my skin. A hug from a dear friend. A package awaiting for me. I see people laughing and having fun. Eating my favourite food. Stepping out of the door and seeing the bus pulling up.

I want....
To be loved. Be in a crowd. Being accepted. Them to listen to me. Understand my feelings. Adjust to my mood. A break. Smart. Quick. Talented. Beautiful. To be successful. A promising bright future.

What I need......
Know we are not infinite
we are not permanent
nothing is immediate
life is a day that doesn't last for long. Every moment that we borrow
brings us closer to the God. Life is still worth living, but I’m afraid to stop…

worrying

enjoying

wanting

I had a dream. I dreamt of a big storm and I was trapped somewhere far from home. The storm subsided and I was able to return home. I went upstairs to a room now occupied by a friend of mine. He was sitting in my room - a room of no walls or windows. There was only a chair and a table. He was distracted by something in his hands. I don't know what. He shot a glance at me and continued playing with the thing in his hands.

He had just taken a picture. Here, time stands still when you take a picture. He took a picture of the sunset. It was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen. The choreography of the clouds was astounding. The colours were carefully chosen from the divine palette. Frozen mid-air were leaves and flowers of various shapes and shades, blown by a gust of wind. The leaves and flowers quiver as they stood, impatient to catch up with the time that has long left them.

I looked over my shoulder to my friend sitting at my desk. He looked up for a brief moment and nodded. I run my fingers along the petals of a flower. I felt a strong gust of wind as the framed life was released from its stationary state. I looked on as the last rays shone on the final leaf, fluttering past me, as if unconcerned with time lost.

I'm miserable.
Why?
Nobody appreciates me.
Everyone's happy with the things you do.
But no one says thank you.
Sometimes you do too much, too often. They become part of everyone's life.
Yeah.

Thanks for mentioning it. 

Bible musing: Luke 10:40-41
         "Don't you care that I've been doing all the work and Mary's just sitting down and listening to you. Ask her to help me!"
         "Martha, you are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be taken away from her.

I'm definitely a Martha.
My thoughts on it? Everyone seems happy that I'm a Martha. People get fed, clothed, pampered. Do I do anything about it? How? What do you think?

By the way, Joyce Cooling is the greatest. So is Sophie Kinsella. Get them.